Here I am again, late online like the countless nights. Insomnia kicking in again. I am suppose to meet Urukhai people tomorrow at 9, and supposed to wake up earlier so that I can pack my stuffs, but I just couldn't sleep. I suddenly feel like I am really much of a weirdo huh.. 'Cos if I never work, or study, or just do something to drain myself out, I really have a hard time falling asleep. Maybe I should start running again just to get myself asleep at night.
I've been wondering what causes this, I think in my case, clear mind and bed cannot come together. How to explain... When your mind is clear, and you lie on your bed, you just keep thinking about stuff, just random stuffs, maybe experiences in the past, the show you just watched, etc. Me... I think about the all the saddest stuff that happened, and thinking all this, make me couldn't sleep, I guess. I really know the saddest things in my life ain't really sad when compared to the less fortunate. But...Someone told me this before... We are all our own life's tragic hero, we paint ourselves using the darkest colours, portray ourselves as the worst human being on Earth. In my case, I painted myself as the worst, unluckiest, stupidest, cowardly, empty, meaningless good-for-nothing. And all the saddest things in my life, just reminds me this fact.
Really weird huh, gonna torture myself to do something really draining, just to keep all this out of mind. I actually had such alertness now, that I actually analyze why I cannot sleep..Haha. I think I really think too much. Maybe if I still couldn't sleep, I will post some of the sad stuffs I think about..
I really want to sleep.... It's already 4++...Hope I can catch some, before the sun comes out.....
I've been wondering what causes this, I think in my case, clear mind and bed cannot come together. How to explain... When your mind is clear, and you lie on your bed, you just keep thinking about stuff, just random stuffs, maybe experiences in the past, the show you just watched, etc. Me... I think about the all the saddest stuff that happened, and thinking all this, make me couldn't sleep, I guess. I really know the saddest things in my life ain't really sad when compared to the less fortunate. But...Someone told me this before... We are all our own life's tragic hero, we paint ourselves using the darkest colours, portray ourselves as the worst human being on Earth. In my case, I painted myself as the worst, unluckiest, stupidest, cowardly, empty, meaningless good-for-nothing. And all the saddest things in my life, just reminds me this fact.
Really weird huh, gonna torture myself to do something really draining, just to keep all this out of mind. I actually had such alertness now, that I actually analyze why I cannot sleep..Haha. I think I really think too much. Maybe if I still couldn't sleep, I will post some of the sad stuffs I think about..
I really want to sleep.... It's already 4++...Hope I can catch some, before the sun comes out.....
