Why Do I even Bother

I need convincing I am not dumb.
I've been attempting Quantum Physics tutorial 3 for days, and I've finally completed it!!! My tutorial was Monday and I took till Friday to complete it-_-. Spend like hours cursing and swearing and some banging the head on the wall, but I completed it, achieving a feeling of satisfaction. Whee!
Unfortunately, it's short-lived. It's like close to 2 am now... so I have to complete the next Physics Tutorial like in 2 days, (bye weekends), am I just slow and dumb-_-....
Anyway, this week in school I met up with xilei on Wednesday, 'cos I owe her lunch, as we made a bet that if she fails her FTT, I got to treat her...Then...turned out that she failed, so got to treat her..Unfair hor? Remember last time, in JJC, I used to do the same thing to someone, in the end, she didn't have the need to treat me, I never failed, turns out to be the other way round...

the food I treated her, my favourite in canteen A- Grilled Chicken Set(courtesy of xilei's blog)

Yeah, most of the free time this week I was doing physics, never even ran once...
Oh, I have to say "Why did I even bother?" today, or should I say yesterday. In between lecture, I had a 4-hr break, then like Xilei jio me go back JJC, which I did, but in the end never met up with her because she went off before I reached, then I realised something stupid....
Out of all the teachers I know or close with, most got transfered out, I see the staff noticeboard like left 3 familiar faces.
Still In School:-
1)Mr Chin(Physics)
2)Mdm Wu Yin Xia(Shadowless Heroine)(I would never want to see her again!!!!)
3)Mr Lee(Discipline Master + My CCA teacher)(Never saw him, maybe too busy catching student tucking out)

In the end, I sort of just shake hand with Mr Chin, walked around, then reminisce a bit. Was surprised Mr Chin remembered me as his student....Too bad Mdm Slyvia Teo left the school le, wanted to thank her, 'cos my GP got a B4 because of her, not a fantastic grade, but a grade good enough for me.(I hokkien-speaking one leh) Then I went back hall, wash clothes, hang dry... Then like feel damn dumb going back JC.....(Why did I even bother?)

Tommorow still got canvassing, till Sunday Morning.... Guess I'll have no time to do tutorial....-_-
Cheers to all of you :)

I am very sad

***Warning, if you are a happy person, don't read this.., click the close window button immediately..."****







One day, if that day come, where my soul leave my body, and I become a wandering soul, I am going to make a double middle-finger to my body and mutter, "You suck, I know you work hard, but that's precisely why you suck, 'cos whatever you are doing, if it's you doing it, it's practically useless, because it is you."

The sad fact about living is that you are stuck being who you are. Sometimes we fight to change ourselves, but ultimately this has little effect. We can change what we do, but we cannot change who we are. In other words, Life is just a prison in this way. And I feel trapped in this prison, I feel trapped when I am alive.

And of course I can't give up. I will continue struggling to solve this emptiness, find some happiness and meaning to it. Wherever, whatever it is. That's living, that's why life sucks.

The number of times when I tried to be happy while crude reality utterly destroyed everything is countless. Realism sucks. Pessimism is realism, 'cos reality normally sucks. I am trying to stay happy, but realistic fake smiles are sometimes too hard to make....

It seems that the forces that created me has already determined all these fact for me...
Back to physics....

Personality Test

Personality Test

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/


Name: Yeo Wei Liang Date: 8/21/2008 Colorgenics Number: 71263405

Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.

You are working extremely hard - perhaps even above and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble-free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.

Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.

OMG, like accurate lo. And this test was done by just choosing the order of the colours you like out of, black, blue, green, grey, purple, brown, red, yellow. Some parts aren't exactly accurate though,

1)I am not working that hard, siao, week 3 only leh, I wouldn't do tutorials b4 the lecture is even taught.

2)I am not critical of everyone, only to some(that includes myself), muahahhaa, and things that I am critical for are pretty minor, not everything....they put it too extreme.

3)I don't examine pro's and con's, I often do things before I think

But most of them are true

1)Stressed and frustrated, financially, academically, my brain ain't working properly after NS.

2)Confidence is shattered, that started since I was Sec 3, I think. The "no-matter-what-I-do-nothing-will-get-better" attitude. For some stuff, I have to find a more critical word than "shattered"

3)Rejected....well...imaginery rejection??

4)Untrusting, everyone confirm will have ppl they don't trust ma. Just that in this context, they put it kind of extreme.

HAHA, this kind of things nice to do once in a while, from a break from tutorial..etc, etc. I need to put "The past does not equal tomorrow" part in my mind... That might make me a happier person.

Anyway, an ultra late post.

Frisbee.. All pose with 2 hand except me, extra

cycling! I remembered how fast sm cycled..

Seems like everyone that went Silioso Beach will take a pic here

me sulking for being so looking the fairest still after being in sun for so long. This is one of the pics that's used as my desktop's background.

Surprised? For the dramatic effect, I decide to post this now, I went to a mini-S26 gathering in...June? And this was supposed to be my blog's first post hahhaa(guilty). To my jiejie and gege, u all haven't been forgotten yet. Cya in school.

P.S. Sorry for seeing you all but not stopping for a chat... buzy buzy..and i oso don't want to spoil your company and I was NOT moody when I see anyone of ya. And sorry Jon for ps-ing you for lunch, got bitten by a lazy bug.

Cheers

Triple BBQ

Last week, I had 3 BBQ's, well, if you consider Sunday as a beginning of the week, hehe. First was Yilin's birthday, second was hall X's dinner, third was part of the Insinyur supper hop thingy. Think I might get all the disease, illness, blah blah blah, related to eating too much BBQ, hahaha.

For Hall X's one, the food sucks totally, it's not worth the money, but the company was seriously fun. Since I never went for hall camp, it's the chance for me to know my neighbours, and some of the juicy facts perhaps(but I don't know who is who, so also no use). Find it freaking hard to remember all the names loh... Nvm, slow and easy, hehehe

Insinyur's one was nice. A lot of food. We barbaqued, we played all sorts of games with the poker cards. We all wear the Insinyur shirt, 'cos by right it is the Insinyur day. Then we went to watch "Meet Dave" before the actual supper hop. It was a freaking funny show. Highly recommended by me, but the movie is the kind that doesn't have much content la. The supper hop take place from Geylang to Bukit Timah to Tiong Bahru(WEE! easy to go home). The whole thing ended at 6 am, ard the time where I need to board the bus and go to NTU if I were from home-_-. Out of all the 3 BBQ events, this is the only one I had photos... shall post next time.

caught cheating
Playing and eating, I wasn't here because i was BBQing Satay
taken after "Meet Dave"

Actually during the supper hop, I was quite troubled thinking about chemistry tutorial. Don't understand at all, 'cos never took 'A' level Chem, so had a hard time doing. Borrowed a hallmate's tutorial for reference in the end. Thanks OWL, ahaha.

Suddenly, a question just popped out in my mind, something someone always asked me in 163 SQN:

Are you dumb or are you dumb?

-_- haiz.... night guys.

OH, 1 more thing, I got accepted as an Insinyur GL. WEEE

Long Weekend

Long Weekend(updated)
Woohoo, long weekend, Happy Birthday and thank you Singapore, not for NS liablities, but for the holidays, and Kenghock, Fangting, Yilin, also happy birthday :D. Interesting updates on my life----(besides mugging)

Sunday<-- Yilin's birthday, theme was pink >_<, luckily she benevolent enough for me to wear white. Phew. There, I meet some of my secondary schoolmates, who couldn't recognize me at all-_-, hello? When I try to attract their attention, they were like, who's this. The whole thing was held at the Chevron's chalet. Yilin's good at organizing things la, she catered one set of buffet and also bought BBQ stuff, so the more elder or health-concious ppl could eat the catered food instead. The whole chalet was having balloons all over, then there is this kid that keep pestering me to play balloon with him. I also tried the swing, but realised my legs were too long, such that I have to retract my legs all the way for my feet to not hit the ground-_-. Haiz, 4 mths to go b4 i become official ah pek(nvm Melody still older than me), yet here I am playing with kids balloons and play soon, like big kid....BUT I had fun:):) Here's the only photo with me I took in that photo.(My camera-shy part of me still good at avoiding camera:P)

Dunnoe what we are looking at, Yilin insisted I sit down while she stand when we take the photo. Okay la, birthday girl, give you chance to be taller than me. Just once :P:P
From left, me, Yilin, Melody

Monday<--Kenghock's and Fangting's birthday celebration. We went MINDS cafe, the one beside Hark's Cafe. We played many games.. the one I enjoyed is the game called Taboo. We have to act out or describe the word without using the the word itself and a set of taboo words

Some game I forgot the name, something to do with train stations

KH acting out the word in TABOO

I was the timekeeper

Jenga, looking like it will fall anytime

We then went to eat some Korean cuisine at the Douby Gaut X-change. It's quite worth it, for the set meal, price ranging from $7.90 onwards, with free flow drinks and ice-cream. 1photo taken there

took a picture of us from the ceiling on top of the restaurant

After that, I rushed back to hall., got ready for the next day.Then realised ppl went supper without me

Then Tuesday, first time tutorial. Econs and Effective Comm, Econs I never even print the tutorial. The Effective Comm lesson machiam Orientation game sia-_-. Then I realised the world damn small. One of the tutorial roommate is actually my ex-IMI-collegues' close friend's boyfriend. So coincidental rightz. I started introducing by saying my name and how common my name was, then saying I already know a few, then suddenly this guy asked if I worked at Raffles Hospital, and that's how we found out about this complicated link we have.(And I know how my collegues describe me, I will try to change lo)

I just went for Insinyur's sub comm interview today. Applied for GL post, hope can get ba..

This blog is written in the hall on my new laptop:):):) Cheers!

School Starts lo

4th of August marks the beginning of a new type of hell. I have been through many hells, (O,A levels, Army, IMI), now it is a hell new hellhole all over, what the hell right? Well, life is different stages of hells...
So far so good, maybe it's becos I keep meeting up with friends from Insinyur camp, making me feel like I have friends in NTU, haha. But my life in hall damn boring sia, now I really regret not going to the hall camp. The only person I know there is my roomate. Sigh~, hope it get better, if not will continuing emo-ing in hall.

Anyway, my roomate is a nice guy la, he let me used his laptop, i dun have one now currently. The fact that i am able to blog today is thanks to him. But I am home alone today, 'cos he went back home.

Hope everything will remain smooth-sailing.....

Last week from school

Ok, school starting tommorow... just think abt it can make me go -_-. Anyway, here to blog about the week. But before that...I've finally gotten all the photos from Insinyur and also my specs..

received the parcel, that consist of the photo, the DVD with the photos and some msgs from the seniors

Glasses repaired.. no need to wear my JC pink specs....hahaha

Firstly, the Freshman Welcome Ceremony. Need to wake up freaking early, then meet my pals for breakfast, was late.. as usual:P. The ceremony was held at Nayang Auditorium. Then there's this guy, that addressed me as " Marie's SP", haha... i didn't know my SP was that famous-_-, then he ask us to get seated quickly. On the seat there is goodie bag, which has jacket, notebook and brochures , and also Graduate Robe??( I don't know what you call that). Some pics.

so that's what the robe's for. Oath-taking, why everything also follow army style sio, I remembered first time in BMT also do something like that. Let's hope I will wear this for a second time in NTU....

Ok, the whole talk was very boring...(sorry><) that most of us fell asleep, others were playing with the camera. Me...?

oops

Ok, next... NDP at somewhere near esplanade. Since we are not exactly at the floating platform, just next to it, the nice stuff we see wasn't the parade or performance. They were the airshows, some seashow, and of course, the fireworks.

the aeroplanesMade by the pilots, someone commented Yujuan not being able to see it with someone:P:P:P

the speedboats with the bird-shaped balloon, reminds me of kongming lanternLook! The birds are shitting sparks:P:Peveryone should see the fireworks, it's damn nice, like showering goldsthis one is special, it has an S, they should make one ERP, one.

Ok lastly, another trip to the club... this time Future. I lost my way...LOL, sigh. but still managed to get inside la, and erm, I got drunk. The feelings like, sitting some ultra fast speed merry-go-round, just wanna lie down..I vomited a little.. or more, damn embarassing sia...Subconsciously, I think i saw Keen but I am not sure...b4 i knew it, suddenly Vinson and Kim joined the dancefloor....damn blur-_-, ok, some photos

Joel and MelissaJoel, Guoping, me
Joel was ultra high, I was like, "what's happening"

Unglam... Why did I even post this

Ok, that's about all.. My head still feels wierd. I wish you all all the best for school, and Joel.. Stay happy ok :)...
I think I will be blogging less often already, after this, school reopening... Cheers =)