Pessimism

Pessimism
Pessimist
-look at the worst side of a situation.
-think future is always bleak
-have nothing good to say about myself or others.
-resist altering my way of thinking, because one feel nothing will help or make a difference
-am unable to make upbeat or uplifting comments about myself or others.
Resulting:
-don't enjoy one's life and get depressed when thinking about future.
-term constructive criticism a "declaration of my worthlessness,'' and I fail to see any value in the criticism.
-feels that one cannot be successful, cannot do anything rightz, worthless, depressed, loser feeling
-Nothing in life makes sense except pain, suffering, and misery.

This is what i am...trying freaking hard to change. yet given my personality, i already half-thinking i will fail, even after convincing myself it's stupid to get depressed about stuff that hasn't happen yet, convincing myself this isn't exactly productive, doing stuff just to keep this stupid thoughts away

stupid thoughts, stupid feelings, stupid emotions...Endless
could u fck off and leave me alone?